Welcome to Contentment!
2004 Boaz Rauchwerger
There is a fable about an old man walking down a long country road. Looking older than his years, he passed by a sign that indicated he was near the end of his journey. That journey was his life.
As he thought about how his health had deteriorated over the years, he figured that the heavy weights hed been carrying in his backpack were responsible. Those weights, in reality, represented his reactions to certain incidents in his life. The strain of such a burden, on a daily basis, would eventually take its toll on anyone.
When he began carrying it, a long time ago, the backpack didnt seem as heavy. However, the longer he carried it, the heavier it got and the more it affected his health and his attitude. His personality had become more and more gloomy. Its no wonder people shied away from him.
One day he came upon an unfamiliar, yet beautiful, little village. The signpost over the entry gate read: Welcome to Contentment.There, a friendly guard greeted him. Welcome,he said to the old man. The traveler, curious about the place, asked if he could come in and meet some of the people. Sure,the guard said, You can come in. May I ask what you have in the backpack? It appears to be heavy.
The old man, with a sad look on his face, said, A long time ago, some selfish people took advantage of me. I tried to get even with them. I didnt like them. I wasted a lot of time thinking about them. I turned all that hatred into some very heavy resentment. I have carried that resentment with me ever since. The weight of my resentment ended up ruining my health and my life.
The guard, touched by the old mans admission of wasted years, said: You can come in and visit our village as long as you leave your backpack out here. Resentment isnt welcome in the village of Contentment.
This fable is a profound analogy of how too many people live their lives. Dale Carnegie, in the powerful book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,states: When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
A long time ago I got to know a man who was running a small company that seemed to have great potential. We started to work together and, thinking that we had similar values and goals, I felt there was a good opportunity for us to work as a team to enlarge his company. We became friends and he began to consider us as partners.
I went out of my way to do anything possible to help build this company. I invested a lot of time, and my own money, in that enterprise. The business grew and prospered. I was sure that both of us would end up doing quite well as a result of all our efforts.
Somewhere along the way, there were signs that this partnerof mine had an ego problem. Instead of continuing on our steady, consistent path, he began thinking of ways to make money faster. His hot, new ideasbegan to cost the company money. It was always, the next big opportunity.In order to impress others, he bought a very expensive home and bragged about it to everyone who would listen.
I began to resent the fact that, although we had agreed that we would make all company decisions jointly, he began independently making one bad financial decision after another. Within a couple of years, his actions drained the company of operating funds and the business came crashing down.
Not only was I out of a job, I had also lost a fair amount of money in the venture. I was very angry with him. He had ruined a wonderful opportunity and threw away several years of hard work.
For weeks I couldnt get a peaceful nights sleep. My ulcer flared up. He left town and I wanted to choke the living daylights out of him. I came to hate him. Then, after a few weeks, I realized that the only person I was really hurting with all of this anger and resentment was me. I decided to pull myself together, start working on myself and my career, and just leave him alone.
As difficult as that time was, Im here to tell you that things began to improve when I decided to turn that experience into a valuable lesson. There were red flags along the way. I had chosen to disregard them. The valuable lesson from that entire experience was summed up in two words, Never Again!
Since then, whenever I even have an inkling of such personality traits in people I deal with, I now take action quickly and make a change. That ability has been quite valuable.
So, the next time you find yourself resenting or hating someone for taking advantage of you, you might recall the old man at the gate of the village of Contentment. Thats not a position in which any of us should find ourselves. After all, resentment is not welcome in the village of Contentment.
An Affirmation of Contentment
I dont waste precious time thinking about the people I dont like. My time is very valuable!
Article reproduced with permission from Boaz Rauchwerger. You may reprint any of these articles in any publication or Web site so long as you credit Boaz Rauchwerger as the author and include this Web site address, www.Boazpower.com.