ESP -- Mother Rauchwerger Style

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2002 Boaz Rauchwerger

My mother had an incredible impact on my life with HER ATTITUDE.

Born in Poland, she escaped through the underground to Palestine in 1935. Although she lost her parents and four brothers and sisters in the Holocaust, she had the most positive attitude of anyone I've ever known. A highly skilled accountant, she worked alongside Golda Meir as the new country of Israel was founded.

Mother was an expert in human relations. She instinctively knew how to win friends and influence people. In my work as a high performance coach to CEOs and corporations, I'm often asked where I got my psychology degree. I simply reply "Mother Rauchwerger's school of human relations."

Although just five feet tall, she was a dynamo! She was not just a person. She was an event. Always smiling. Always moving quickly as if she had something important to do. However, she always took time to talk with anyone who stopped long enough to tell her their story. She was intensely interested in other people.

Thus, it was very painful to see her slow down in later years. Not because of age, but because of a disease called Parkinson's. Beginning with tremors, that disease eventually forces the body to come to a complete stop.

Throughout most of her life, mother kept a meticulous checkbook. It was always balanced to the penny. However, as the Parkinson's began to take a greater toll on her dexterity, mother would write in her checkbook with a hand that constantly shook.

One day, as she requested that I enter a check amount into her check register, I noticed something curious. There were several notations in that register that read ESP. My curiosity got the best of me. I asked mother what that notation meant. She said, "In the past it was very important for me to balance my checkbook every month. Now, with the Parkinson's, if I'm a few cents off, it's OK for me not to worry about it. So, when I can't balance the checkbook, I just write ESP -- Error Some Place."

That was an incredible lesson in life. I'll never forget that moment. Mother realized that it was fine now to simply leave that matter alone. With her disease, she couldn't pay the close attention to the checkbook that her earlier years had allowed. So she was fine with leaving it alone.

The French have a term for that. It's called Laissez Faire -- to leave alone. How many things in your life are you fretting about that you should actually leave alone?

So you didn't make that investment in Microsoft a number of years ago that could have made you rich today. So you didn't go after that promotion opportunity when it came up? So you didn't start exercising six months ago. So you didn't take more time to spend with your kids as they were growing up?

All of the wishful thinking will not bring back those moments. Maybe it's time to write the letters ESP in the diary of your life and leave them alone.

These times are the "good ole days" that we'll be referring to in the future. Why not make this day, this moment, count. This is a great time to start taking better care of you. This is a great time to spend more time with the people you love. This is a great time to take a small step on that book you've wanted to write, that project you've wanted to begin or that business you've wanted to start.

Please realize that we all have some ESPs in our past. Take a Laissez Faire attitude toward them, learn from them and decide that the future is going to be different. Take a small step today toward a better direction for the future. Mother Rauchwerger would have been pleased.

Mother's Affirmation

If my mother were still around, she'd encourage you to put blinders on, focus on the future and not look back at the past. Here's an affirmation that may help:

I am a confident, talented, enthusiastic Champion. The experiences of my past have given me the wisdom and the courage to create a great future. I am proud of me!