When Being a Good Listener Can Turn Into Brilliance
2002 Boaz Rauchwerger
His name is Phil. A quiet, unassuming young man of about 20. I met him today and he made a lasting impression on me. I am delighted to introduce him to you. You'd like him.
Phil was one of the 15 attendees at a special self-image and goal setting seminar I conducted today for a group of native Americans at Pine Valley, California.
One of the main things I learned from my mother, in the art of dealing with people, is to be a good listener. It is said that the person who asks the questions controls a conversation. I also find that I learn a lot when I ask people questions.
In my seminars, audience participation is imperative. I don't come to preach. I come to ask questions, find out what people want, and then show them how to get what they want. Thus, at today's event, I asked every participant what it was that they wanted to change or improve about their lives. When I came to Phil, he was very hesitant to talk. When asked about his goals, there was nothing concrete. There was nothing he really wanted to change about his life.
Knowing that everyone wants something, I asked a few more questions. He finally showed an interest in construction. Perhaps that could be a career choice and a way to support his young twin daughters. His answers were short and filled with hesitation.
As I began to teach my success formula, an incredible thing happened. I made a point about the self-talk that we all generate at 1,500 words per minute. How we program our subconscious minds determines how we live, succeed or fail. Phil suddenly said, "It's like we're putting pictures into our minds." Everyone stopped and stared. That was a brilliant analysis of the concept.
I suddenly realized that here was a very intelligent young man. I immediately asked who, in the group, knew Phil. Most of them did. I then asked each person who knew Phil to express something good about him. I found out that he was a thoughtful father who cared deeply about his daughters; that he was a good friend and that he had a talent for art.
Throughout the rest of the seminar Phil interjected a few other insightful comments that further impressed everyone in the room. It was a most amazing transformation that would not have happened without me asking questions and listening very carefully.
Want to improve your life and the lives of those around you? Listen. Listen closely. God gave us two ears and one mouth. That proportion should give us an idea of how much talking and how much listening we should do. Listen. You too might discover the brilliance of a Phil. And who knows what a difference such a moment could make.
Would You Be Nominated as "The Best Actor or Actress?"
The Academy Awards take place every year. There were many different categories for the awards. Among them were "The Best Actor and Actress" awards.
I'm not suggesting that you should take up acting so you might have a chance to win these awards. That is, unless that is you life's passion. If it is, go for it.
What I want to suggest is that there are moments in life when action is needed on our part. Maybe it's time to go back to school. Maybe it's time to lose weight or stop smoking. Maybe it's time to renew your commitment to your relationship with a spouse or a child. Maybe it's time to make an important career move or change careers.
There are many moments when it's time for your subconscious mind to duplicate the move of a film director and say "ACTION!" Are you a good director of your own life's movie? If you don't like what's on the screen of your life, change the picture.
Think of anything important that you've been putting off and holler mentally "ACTION!" When you take action on something important in your life, you're nominating yourself for a "Best Actor" or "Best Actress" award.
Let's make your life The Best Picture by you being the Best Actor or Actress. Remember that today will be the best day of your past when you look back one day and recall that you took ACTION on something important in your life.
A 'Good Listener' Daily Affirmation
I learn so much by listening more than I talk and by asking questions.
Article reproduced with permission from Boaz Rauchwerger. You may reprint any of these articles in any publication or Web site so long as you credit Boaz Rauchwerger as the author and include this Web site address, www.Boazpower.com.