The Two Faces of Success
2002 Boaz Rauchwerger
I met two men this week who were very interesting. Outwardly, they were about the same age, close to 40. Both had a nice smile. Both were dressed well. Both had nice personalities.
One was highly successful and the other was struggling. What was the difference? It could be summarized in one word -- confidence.
The successful man was born in this country and the other was an immigrant who had only been in the United States for a few years. The successful man, during a business lunch, spoke about his challenges and his achievements with an aire of confidence that, no matter what, he always knew he would succeed in the long run. No wonder he attracts talented people to his businesses and no wonder those businesses succeed.
I met the second man at a public function when I overheard a European accent. Since my parents were born in Europe, and I in Israel, I am always interested in people who have an accent. Since I am also an immigrant, I feel a special kinship with immigrants.
The immigrant told me that he worked in real estate and found it a struggle. He was ashamed of his accent and the fact that some people found it difficult to understand him. I was astonished. I could understand him very clearly. He had no problem communicating with me. However, because of a few isolated cases of inconsiderate people, he had convinced himself that he was a poor communicator. And this was the main reason, he felt, that he was struggling in real estate.
Often, and I myself have been guilty of this in the past, people sell themselves on a concept that isn't really true. We think others see us in a certain way and the majority of people don't see us that way at all. Thus, the following negative affirmations result: "People don't like me because (whatever the reason). No one wants to do business with me." If that's not what you want, don't say it.
As I spoke to the immigrant with the insecure feeling about his accent, I told him that the accent was an advantage. That most people consider someone with an accent as being highly intelligent. I told him to turn his thoughts around and to pretend he is confident until that feeling of confidence becomes an automatic pilot.
I suggested he say the following affirmation the first thing each morning and the last thing each night: I am the best real estate agent in the world! I made him say that statement out loud several times before we parted. Each time he said it, you could tell that his mind was opening up to the possibilities associated with that pattern of thinking.
If you're struggling with confidence in any area of your life, feel free to send us an E-mail and we'll write a customized affirmation for you. Great achievements and great success are right in front of you. You are a Champion!
"Can't" Means I Don't Know or Don't Want To
Winners do not use the word "Can't." Winners simply do what has to be done, when it has to be done, whether they feel like it or not.
If you find yourself using the word "Can't," ask yourself the following questions. "Is it that I don't want to do this or than I don't know how to do it?"
If you really don't want to do something, then let it go and forget it. If you don't know how to do something, then find someone who can show you and learn.
As a professional speaker and high performance coach to CEOs, I haven't needed to know how to assemble a power point presentation on a computer. This week, as associate asked if I could help with one. My parents taught me to accept a challenge and then find out how to do it. Thus, I accepted, jumped right in, asked for lots of help and found out it was simpler than I had expected. In fact, I got excited as I quickly mastered some of the basic concepts that a few days earlier I would have dreaded.
I am so pleased now that I didn't say, "No, I can't do that." How may times have we all lost opportunities to learn, and add to our success, because we responded too quickly with the word "Can't?" Instead, let's ask, "How can I?"
A Confidence Affirmation
I act as if I am highly confident.
Article reproduced with permission from Boaz Rauchwerger. You may reprint any of these articles in any publication or Web site so long as you credit Boaz Rauchwerger as the author and include this Web site address, www.Boazpower.com.